here's to starting over.

so i've decided on somethings.
theres things about me i need to change.
like my trust and commitment issues.
and i need to stop taking a lot of things so personally.
and that i need to rid of a lot of things in my life, mainly people and habits.

I deleted 214 people from my phone book, about 50 poeple from my buddy list, and approx 500 from my friends list on myspace. most of which were people i felt were a negative impact in my life.

I threw away 2 garbage cans filled with things from my past (notes, letters, cards, pictures, etc) that i don't feel the need to hold on to any longer. and i still have more boxes and things to go through.

it felt very relieving and felt like a weight was lifted off my shoulders.




i have a lot of work to do on myself these next couple weeks.
don't worry, its all for the better.

fuck this. im done.

I am DONE with people. D-O-N-E. it seems the popular thing to do lately is to lead people to believe something that isn't true.
people need to grow the fuck up and stop being selfish and learn to care about other people and what you say to them.



don't tell me you promise we'll hang out then put forth ZERO effort.
don't tell me you care when you refuse to do a single thing to show it.
if you say you're going to do something then do it.
stop lying.
stop saying things to satisfy a person for that point in time.

well that was unexpected.

it honestly shocks me that you think it's that easy.
that you expect me to let you back in that easily.
especially with no apology whatsoever.











you're quite the character.

you always miss a best friend.

Reuniting with an old best friend next wednesday. I have a good feeling about this.

goodbye, lay the lame on luck.

I've lost numerous people in my time. Friends, best friends, family members, etc.
This time it just hurts so much more knowing I didn't do anything to explain you acting this way towards me. It hurts so much knowing I cannot call you my best friend any more, knowing you're chosing to no longer be in my life. Though you were only in my life physically for a couple months, you've changed the way I see people and I see the world, and you will be in my life forever, just as a memory. You have taught me more about myself and why I do the things I do than any other person I have ever encountered. Thank you for being there for me the times that you were there, and its going to be hard not having you there any more. I hope you live your dream, and I hope you are happy in whatever it is that you do. I love you and I always will. There will always be a spot saved for you in my life if you chose to come back.










"Our truest life is when we are in dreams awake."