well. apparently i forgot about this for a month

to catch you all up really fast:

im not moving to indianapolis anymore. at least not any time soon. im going to school instead.
i recently realized im in love with my best friend, and yes, he knows. and no, we aren't dating.
my birthdays in 3 weeks. i feel like im getting so old, so fast, and have yet to do anything with my life.
im starting to learn how to love trust and believe again.
im making A LOT of changes in my life, and starting to become okay with feeling certain ways and slowly learning how to deal with them.


as for this moment, this song is my exact feelings put into a musical form:

Sorry - Maria Mena

Vague sound of rain
pierces through my song again
but I get distracted by the way his toes move when he plays
so I let it burn

I just poured my heart out
there's bits of it on the floor
And I take what's left of it and rinse it under cold water
And call him up for more

And I say baby, yes I feel stupid to call you, but I'm lonely
And I don't think you meant it when you said you couldn't love me
And I thought maybe if I kissed the way you do, you'd feel it too

He said I'm sorry
so sorry
I'm sorry
so sorry

He grabs my wrists
as my fingers turn into angry fists
and I wisper why can't you love me, I'll change for you
I'll play the part

And I say baby, so I feel stupid to call you, but I'm lonely
And I don't think you meant it when you said you couldn't love me
And I thought maybe if I kissed the way you do, you'd feel it too

He said I'm sorry
so sorry
I'm sorry
I am sorry







take what you will from it.