Regardless of my health issuses and my job, im a happy camper.

my chest is hurting again.
and i feel like im giving birth to my uterus.
i want a new job.
my current one is making me hate my one true passion.
i don't take pictures for my self any more.
with the exception of my photo-a-day with Ben.
but one photo everyday isn't enough for me.
i want to do photo shoots again.
i want Fabio [my 35mm] in my hands once more.
it used to be that the only two things i needed to be happy were:
1: Fabio
2: ILFORD 400 speed B&W film.
and now.
its like i couldn't care less about it.
its strange for me.
i love it so so much.
but my job right now makes me want to never pick up a camera again.

on the upside of today:
i picked up four new CDs.
and a movie.
and with today being over
that just means one more day till
i get to see matt again.
i haven't seen him in a week and a half.
its not long
but it's felt like forever.
I think its mainly due to the fact that i've been sick
and I haven't been able to see any body really.
I miss the kid.
I talk to him on the phone everynight.
and it seems that every time i get off the phone with him.
I just sit/lay there and realize how much i like the relationship i am in with him.
we're both really laid back, as is the relationship.
we don't go on super expensive fancy fancy dates
or get all mushy with each other.
we don't call each other pookiepie or schnookum.
everynow and then it'll be a hun.
but its really chill and laid back.
no pressure or stress, which is a first for me.
we hang out with people, but still have alone time.
we go mini golfing and have pajama movie nights.
we bicker in a good way
and make fun of each other all the time.

i couldn't ask for anything else.